A few days ago, I had a terrible experience. An incident that once again revealed the creepy attitude of our society. A society that is insecure and has no traces of empathy left.
I posted a girl’s profile for a marriage proposal on a Facebook matrimonial group (without picture). The girl is a mature, educated, independent, and self-sufficient lady who has crossed the ideal age range of marriage set by society. It was a pretty straight forward profile as she doesn’t just want to get married to anyone available. A basic right of every woman; a life of her choice.
The amount of jahalat flown in the comments stunned me. She is a hijabi (covers head) and many proposals were rejected in the last few years on this basis. So, she gave a red flag to anyone expecting a beauty contestant in teens. Some cool men commented on her looks and age without even looking at her picture and mocked her demands.
She is a working woman who wishes to maintain her lifestyle so she also mentioned the minimum salary demand which was way lesser than what she already earns. O My my, this point touched the weak nerves of all those insecure men who couldn’t do anything in their lives. Those chickens who don’t even know there is a world outside their coop, called her “Gold Digger”.
A girl is a gold digger if
- She has demands in life
- A girl who has spent a good amount of time to establish her career and wants a compatible partner, is asking too much
- A girl is uncultured because she refused to consider proposals who don’t want a career-oriented partner
- A girl is destined to get bashing if she doesn’t bow down to the stereotype and patriarchal system
- A girl with an opinion and mind is unacceptable.
Yes, this is the progressive modern society we live in. A rishta parade that happens in every other house is a soul tearing process. A woman is judged on her appearance and age. The age range starts as soon as the girl hits puberty to the age she learns to use her mind. If the girl can use her mind, oops she is too overage for the misogynist partner.
She is examined according to the standard of society by ruining her self esteem. The audience of this show doesn’t have empathy when they switch houses one by one in the search of their ideal minor angel-looking puppet.
If they mistakenly encounter an alive human with her senses and especially functioning brain, they conveniently exclude her from the “eligible girl” criteria list.
I noticed that the profiles on that matrimonial group which had no demands were taken as ideal proposals. On the contrary, girls who have specifications for their future partner were called arrogant. God forbid, if the girl has entered the age of 30s, she is being casually recommended to accept whatever comes her way.
I wanted to reply to many comments as harshly as they responded to that post. I could be as mean as they were but then I could already sense the illiteracy from their words. The men who want fancy wives who would have no requirements in life. The wives who are educated but worship the patriarchy. The wives who would tolerate their bad mouth as a duty. The wives who would lay eggs (oh I mean babies) and dedicate their lives raising them without any support. Why? Because in a patriarchal world, it’s not a man’s work to help his wife or give her breathing space. Actually, mostly wives are given value by considering them highly skilled like a ROBOT.
Dear men, don’t get offended that you are being targeted. Your mothers are equally responsible for letting you believe that you own the world alone.
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